Love

Love…

Those feelings that messes us up… The feelings that makes us feel alive and the best but at the same time those feelings can make us feel shit and the worst ever.

Why does it have to be hard? Maybe so we can better appreciate it when it’s just right.

I love love. I love being in love. And i love having that special connection with someone.

But i also hate feeling so dependent on a guy. Not being able to think about something else. It’s horrible. But it’s part of life and we have to deal with it. Because in the end: it’s better to have loved and be loved than nothing at all. That’s what I tell myself in order to continue.

Advertisements

Goodbye to you, my love

There was so much to be said like

I love you

I will miss you

I’ll never forget what we had

and I wish you the best things in life.

I never got to utter the words

I was too sad and tired

because you were leaving.

I hope you will keep your promise

that we will keep in touch

because if I get a second chance

I will tell you everything.

I’m glad for all that we got to experience together.

You are someone who I will never forget.

Yes, this is my goodbye to you

because I’m sure we will never see each other again

but know one thing: I love you

I choose myself.

I don’t love myself.

I don’t take care of myself.

I don’t take decision based on myself.

I look at my decisions

my choices

my dreams

my hopes.

Everyone else is high on my list

but in the end I forget myself.

I should be the top priority

but it’s not like that.

I should take better care of myself.

However, it’s hard

it’s a new concept

new idea

that I’m not used to.

One day though.

One day I’ll be able to leave behind

bad decision,

wrong men,

poor judgement,

low self-esteem,

and fake friends.

That day it will change everything.

It will change everything and nothing.

However, I look forward to the day when I can say out loud:

“I choose to make myself to be happy today.

I choose me!” 

 

Let go

Let go.

Let go of what you can’t change. 

Let go of all the worries

live in the moment and be free. 

 

We have time 

but it goes by so fast. 

We have to enjoy the moment here and now

and the life that is happening. 

Don’t let it run by you 

run with your life. 

Don’t just look at it. 

 

It’s amazing. 

It’s a wonder what we can do in this world. 

So many possibilities and options today. 

So yes. 

Let’s go on an adventure!

where?

Nobody know and nobody cares. 

because it’s not about the destination 

but it’s about the journey going there! 

So let go!

Let go of everything. 

Nothing should hold you back. 

Now is the time to act.

But the question is:

are you ready to let go?

..

 

 

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

I’m mad. 

I’m frustrated. 

I’m confused. 

And I’m at a crossroad this point in my life

and I don’t know what to do from here.

 

I’m not home 

in familar settings 

or with friends or family. 

I’m in this unknown place 

where everybody is fake. 

Everybody talks behind each others back 

and nobody says how they really feel. 

 

Then there you are 

you are my confidant. 

You are the person I trust 

You are the person who sees everything 

when I’m down and when I’m truly happy. 

Others doesn’t notice 

because they don’t see it or doesn’t care. 

 

You’ve seen me cry 

You held me tight 

and told me everything would be okay

when I was at my worst. 

I’m getting better and better everyday 

like they say time heals everything. 

 

But I often get more mad

because I blame myself for not treating you better. 

I know in the moment I did something wrong

but I have flaws 

and I hate to admit when I’m wrong. 

 

You are my best friend

the person I confide to

whether it’s happy or sad news. 

I’ve told you stuff I have never told anybody 

and it felt good 

because all you did 

was just to listen, hug me 

and you told me everything would be okay. 

 

So this is me apologizing. 

Apologizing for my mistakes

and for the ones I will make

because I’m not perfect.

I’m stubborn and I have a temper

and I feel everything so strongly.

And I have a power to take it out on the people

who are closets to me.  

 

But know that you will always be my friend

the friend who was there in the good and the bad times 

for that I cannot express how much it means to me. 

 

Sorry is the hardest word for me to express in this world. 

I may say it daily but when it’s truthful and comes from within 

it’s the hardest thing for me to do. 

So this is my way of apologizing to you 

because you are an amazing friend 

and you should be treated like that everyday. 

If you love hard, don’t apologize for your superpower

If I was superman 

my kryptonite would be love

because I love hard. 

 

I push people away

I try to not get affected

I try to not get attached 

but when I finally allow myself to love

I love hard. 

 

I don’t see it as a superpower. 

I know I should. 

Because the great feeling of love

I feel so much harder than others. 

 

It’s what breaks me 

but it’s also what keeps me going. 

I should be proud. 

I’m not afraid when I really love

I just jump. 

 

I’ve fallen the times I jumped

but the moments in the air 

made the whole jump worth everything. 

It was magical. 

It was something I’ll never forget. 

 

That’s what I’ll take away with me. 

I’ll remember the jump 

the excitement, the thrill and the adventure. 

And I’ll remember the beautiful moments 

because in the end

they make the risk worth it. 

 

So yes I won’t allow myself 

to be sorry for my superpower. 

I feel bad for the people who in the end 

aren’t willing to take the jump 

because the jump 

makes you feel alive. 

And because I love hard 

I feel ten times more alive. 

 

So yes I can be proud of my superpower. 

It’s amazing 

and in the end 

I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

 

I feel it.

I feel it. 

I feel it more and more. 

I feel the power it’s getting. 

I need to get out. 

But I can’t. 

Nobody can help me 

besides myself. 

 

I feel it. 

I feel it consuming me. 

I feel it getting stronger. 

I don’t want it to be like this. 

But I’m too weak to let go

and to weak to forget. 

 

I love too much.

I think too much. 

I feel too much. 

It’s my weakness and my strength. 

I can’t let things go. 

It consumes me

It affects me. 

It troubles me. 

 

Where am I supposed to end up?

No direction 

no one to turn to 

no shoulders to cry on. 

People don’t understand 

people don’t care. 

It’s not their life

their problems. 

 

It’s mine alone. 

I need to fight on my own. 

Fight for a world with light

fight for happiness 

and i need above all

to fight for love and life