I’m so scared.
Scared to care, to feel and to love.
And I guess it’s because when I feel, care and love
I do it much stronger than the average person.
I feel everything from pain to love so strong
and I have let it become my weakness
instead of making it my greatest strength.
But I’m scared.
I’m scared to get rejected, to let myself feel and fall yet again.
But this is not a life.
to see everybody else living their life
while i’m just at the side.
In everything else I’m part of the game, life.
But when it comes to love I am just someone who is watching on the sideline.
I wear a mask
not because it’s my job
not because it’s a costume
but because I can’t be the me
I want to be.
I told you about this mask I wear
you dismissed it and said
don’t worry about it.
It’s nothing serious.
But how can it not be serious
when I see people being happy all the time
and for me I have to wear a mask
in order to do it.
Yeah that’s nothing serious.
Just as my mask was revealed
I put it back on
because you didn’t believe me.
You didn’t understand how it feels
when there’s a part of you that just wants to be miserable.
I want to be happy and free.
I don’t know how yet
but I will get there.
With or without my mask.