I make myself

I make myself pretty for you and not for me. Because I’m hoping you will notice – but it never happens anymore.

I make myself available to you because I hope you are available for me – but it never happens anymore.

I make myself seem strong when you are around because I hope you Won’t notice how I’m not strong – but it doesn’t happen anymore.

I make myself to be fake around my friends because I don’t want them to worry. But I feel fake and it’s not working.

I make myself think of other things because I can’t spend my days thinking about you. But that’s what I end up doing.

I make myself be a lot of things but it doesn’t work. So what do I do?

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The night is my release

All I want to do

is everything I’m not supposed to do.

I don’t want to talk to people

and pretend everything is okay.

All I want to do

is to listen to music

and relax.

But then the questions will come

why do you stay in your room?

And I’m not ready to answer those questions.

I’m not ready to admit to others

and to say it out loud

I can’t even write it.

It’s all in my head

like everything else.

I keep all of my thoughts and feelings private

because in the end people are only curious.

They don’t care.

So yes all I want to do I cannot do.

Because I’m not ready to answer the questions.

I’m tired of being fake

so my escape is the music.

When I listen to the lyrics and the songs

I can be free

I can be me

and I can think about all the things I’m not ready to say.

So what am I going to do today?

I’m going to be fake, interact and smile.

Because I’m not ready to answer.

So the music will wait until it’s dark

and it’s appropriate for me

to go into my room

and listen to the sad music

I’ve been wanting to listen to all day. Lucy-Hale-Gif-Wants-To-Lay-Down-Listen-To-Sad-Music-All-Day

Fake it till you become it

I really enjoy listening and watching the different TED Talks there is. If you have never heard about it, TED Talk organizes conferences that has incredible speakers whose goal is to spread ideas worth spreading.

Amy Cuddy has researched in body science and her speech is very interesting and inspiring because she talks about how powerful body language is.

I highly encourage you even though you are not a business major to take a look at it and try because the speakers are really talented and inspiring!

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