Head vs. heart

It all started at hello

I didn’t see it and neither did I see the beauty in you at first

I saw a man who was happy all the time

Little did I know

That this man was broken

Little did I know

That you were going to break my heart.

I remember how it felt when you kissed me the first time

I remember what you told me

And what I told you:

It will never work and we’ll end up in a big mess

But you told me that everything was going to be all right.

you told me all that mattered was me and you

I slowly started having feelings for you

and that’s when I knew

that I wanted you.

We began this journey together

I remember when you would hold my hand and kiss my neck

or when you would just hold me and say “you’re the best”.

It was amazing.

But I’ve been hurt before and when it was too much

I tried pushing you away.

The only thing is that I was successful

because you changed your mind

and you no longer wished to see me.

But you would still come and see me at night

telling me how hard it all was

but then it changed because now i know

that you no longer care.

And now? I’m the girl who’s sitting next to you

trying to hide the fact how much you’ve hurt me

and how much I still want you.

I’m wearing this mask everyday to try and act tough

even though my heart is screaming.

But I know that I deserve better.

I know that I deserve to be covered in smiles

and not in tears.

I’m just waiting for the day when my heart understands

what my head already knows.

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