Right now moment

I’m so sick of the lies and the hurt.

But most of all, I’m sick of the loneliness.

You said that you would be back.

I waited and waited.

But sadly you never came.

All I wonder is, what did I do wrong?

As I said don’t promise me things you can’t keep

But sadly you decided to break the promise.

And for that I am truly sad and hurt.

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Scared

I was a coward

afraid of my own feelings

that when I said goodbye

all I could do was to cry.

I didn’t even tell you how much you have changed for me

or how much your friendship has meant to me

and how I wish things would have been different.

But what done is done

and now I have to live with my choice.

Hopefully I will be strong again the next time or just tell you how I feel..

Open / Closed

You told me

it was okay.

That it would be okay to open up

and let you know my feelings.

I told you things

i’ve never shared before.

What will forever haunt me

was your reaction.

That’s not a big deal

don’t worry about it.

Yes I sugarcoated it.

Because I was afraid.

But I was right.

He judged me

because people

doesn’t know how it feels.

How it feels to have a sadness in them

they cannot escape.

Or maybe they do.

Nobody ever talks about this.

It’s a tabu

not worth talking about.
But for me

I need someone.

And I needed him to hold me

and say it will be alright.

It didn’t happen.

All I wanted to do was to scream at him

but I let it go.

because that’s what I do.

I don’t tell people how I feel

But next time I’ll be more wise

before I let anybody in.

The pain isn’t always worth it.

But it will be worth when I find that person

who will hug me and kiss

after I let him in.

I just have to wait for him

until then i’ll be closed

and one day i will be open again

no matter how long it will be

I will wait for that guy.

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