The truth of today

Last week, you looked into my eyes

and you told me that you loved me

you told me we should run away together

Tonight, you looked me into the eyes

and you told me that you’ve had enough

you told me that you were confused

Tomorrow, you will look into my eyes

and you will tell me that all you want a hug

and tell me that it’s complicated.

Last week, I told myself that I should commit 100 %

and just believe in the love

I was ready..

In one night, everything changed

I was no longer wanted or desired

which I was blindsided by

Today you came by and you called my name

and you said all I want is hug and to see you

everything is blurred and unclear

because of what you have told me

and what your actions show

Love

Love…

Those feelings that messes us up… The feelings that makes us feel alive and the best but at the same time those feelings can make us feel shit and the worst ever.

Why does it have to be hard? Maybe so we can better appreciate it when it’s just right.

I love love. I love being in love. And i love having that special connection with someone.

But i also hate feeling so dependent on a guy. Not being able to think about something else. It’s horrible. But it’s part of life and we have to deal with it. Because in the end: it’s better to have loved and be loved than nothing at all. That’s what I tell myself in order to continue.

Scared

I was a coward

afraid of my own feelings

that when I said goodbye

all I could do was to cry.

I didn’t even tell you how much you have changed for me

or how much your friendship has meant to me

and how I wish things would have been different.

But what done is done

and now I have to live with my choice.

Hopefully I will be strong again the next time or just tell you how I feel..